My Brother Got Married! Part 1: The Bridal Shower

So, another reason for our blog silence over the last few months is that MY LITTLE BROTHER GOT MARRIED!  I'm not really sure why this prohibited me from daily blogging because it really only took up one weekend, but, nevertheless, it seemed to occupy a lot of my mental energy. 

It was quite the event! 

We had so much fun and got to see so many friends and family!  It really was the perfect night--so, so Dave and Katie and their style.  They worked so hard to make it a fun night for the guests. 

I will be telling their wedding story in 3 parts because Patrick got a new camera and saw this as the perfect opportunity to take 3 billion pictures.

And so, Part 1: The Bridal Shower

The Bride-To-Be and her sweet Grandma 

 

Obligatory Bridal Shower Games

 

The Gift Opening

 

My mom made this awesome wet bar for their apartment!

 

You know the game where you write down everything the bride says while she's opening her presents and then read it back to her like it's what she would be saying on her wedding night?  This is it.  Hilarious!

 

Some of the bridesmaids

 

Family!

 

Katie and her sister, Amanda, the Matron of Honor

 

It was quite a day!  Such a fun way to kick off the celebrations!

 

We love you, Dave and Katie!

On Running and Fear

So it's been...what? 3 months? 4 months? Since my last post?  I think it's time to finally get a little caught up around here.  I've had a million blog posts written in my head and am finally finding the time to sit down get things in order around the blog world.  I'm going to back up a little and tell you over the next few days what we've been up to since May!

Friends, I've been running!  I know, I know... you've heard this before.  I have been an on-again, off-again runner for a few years now.  But not really.  Really I was more off than on, but in my mind I want so bad to be a runner.  I don't know why, but it has been something I've longed to do but have been unable to stick with for any long period of time.  After much introspection and contemplation, I have pinpointed what my hang up with running is: Fear.

It's no secret that I'm both a people pleaser and a perfectionist.  The perfectionist in me hates to fail at things.   And I'm a fast learner, so most things that I have set out to do in life, I tend to be good at.  But you see, what this people-pleaser layer adds to this fuzzy picture that is my life, is the crippling fear of public failure.  I don't want to fail at things and forgoodnesssake if I do, I don't want anyone to see.

And so, every time I set out to run in the past, I ran alone.  So that if I had to stop or walk or got tired, no one would know.  If I sweated a lot or my face got as red as a beet, no one would see.  I could come home and shower and clean everything up and keep all the embarrassing, not so great parts to myself.  This usually went great for a little bit and then I would slowly but surely burn out.  I would get frustrated. Or it would rains and I didn't go. And then life got busy and I couldn't go. And before I knew it, it would be weeks and months and the thought of starting again was so overwhelming that I didn't know where to begin and the whole thing would come to a crashing, grinding hault.

So this time around I decided to do things a little differently.  I decided to tackle this thing of running with something I am good at: learning!  I'm a great student.  My perfectionist self can't handle missing assignments or not doing homework.  My people-pleaser side loves to show up to class and  look interested and take notes. 

Back in February, I stared fear in the face and signed up for my first running training group through Fleet Feet Sports.  On a whim, I decided to sign up for the 10K training group, which meant, yes,  running with people.  Of course, I took my student-self to the Interest Meeting first, took a lot of notes, and asked a lot of questions.  I hemmed and hawed after the meeting and asked everyone I could grab if they really thought I could do this.  But then I bit the bullet and paid my money and signed up.  I decided that even if I'm not great at running, I could learn.

It was a 12-Week program.  We were given a training schedule with daily "homework" assignments to complete on our own throughout the week.  A short run on Monday and longer runs on Tuesday and Thursday.  We met as a group and ran with others in our pace group for our longest runs on Saturdays.  And the best part is that we are paired with mentors who lead our groups on Saturdays.  These are the most encouraging people!  My mentors are STILL encouraging me and the program ended 2 months ago!

In the beginning it was the fear that motivated me throughout the week to get my homework runs done.  Fear of having to walk on Saturdays with the group if I didn't take the time to get my running in throughout the week.  Fear of them seeing me fail.  But over time, the fear turned into a crave and I actually WANTED to get my homework done.  I enjoyed the running (or at least the feeling when it was over of my run being done.)

We ended the Program by running in the Appalachian Power Company Festival 10K run.  It was a beautiful day.  I was nervous and scared, but our mentor stayed with us the entire time.  She paced us out for most of the race and then turned us loose on the last mile.  I couldn't believe I had actually run 6 miles when I crossed that finish line!  It was the most awesome feeling!

 

This program was the best thing I have done in a quite a while.  I decided that this time, for the first time, I would become a student of running.  I acted like I had never done it before and tried to look at it all from new eyes.  What to wear, how to hydrate, how to pace.  The people of Fleet Feet have been the best teacher.  I'm still meeting some of the girls that I met in the program on Saturday mornings during the summer to run, and I'm planning to do another program this fall!

Our Story Outloud

Don't mind me, just dusting off our little corner of the blog world over here...

Pardon my absence (again)!  I know you all are living in total suspence of our everyday life and I don't mean to disappoint.  I'm going to try to be better (again)...

But I did want to share a couple links about our adoption story for those of you who have asked and are interested.

We were featured in Hopetree Family Services' monthly newletter The Caring Times.  You can read our story here.

Also, Calvin and I were interviewed by a Hopetree representative, who put together a great little video that captures our story well. 

 

My only qualm with the whole things is that he chose to title it, "A Perfect Story," and it is not.  It is never God's plan for families to fail and fall apart.  But it is His Grace that brought Calvin to us for healing and new life.  We are all sinners, and so our stories are never perfect.  They are messy and broken and filled with hurt, but, thankfully, God's grace can cover all of that.  Other than that, it's a beautiful piece, and I'm so happy that is it Our Story.

Y'all, we're famous.

Wow.

I did not expect this response to our first year.  We knew we were loved, but we certainly didn't know we were so loved by so many.  Thank you, all of you, who have been sharing our story!  I posted the link on Facebook, and so many of you have shared it and reshared.

And then we heard that our story is being shared with the Governor as part of a petition to make May Foster Care month.  We feel like celebrities!  Thank you ALL for celebrating with us and making us feel special.  But what really excites us is that people are talking and dreaming about foster care and adoption.  My friend and colleague Ray shared our story on his blog.  He notes in there that there is something happening at our high school.  SIX TEACHERS are fostering or adopting.  For each one of us it looks completely different.  But each story is such a picture of our adoption by our heavenly Father.  It is so beautiful.  I feel humbled and blessed and honored to be a part of it all. 

And here's the best part.

After just celebrating our first year together, two weeks ago we had news that our adoption is final!

It's official! 

And so, I'd like to introduce you to our son.  Our real son.

Calvin Patrick Herndon

151 pounds

67 inches

Born: 1/20/96

Adopted: 2/12/13

One Year.

I remember pulling into our first night of training.  It was early October, crisp and cool outside.  I pulled into the parking lot at the local group home, stepped out of the car, and looked around.

My child lives here.
I'm coming to get them.
And the weight of it seemed overwhelming and honestly a little surreal. 
What are we doing?

Fast forward four months.

It was a cold and rainy Wednesday night, one year ago today.  We pulled into that same parking lot, hurried inside to beat the rain, and packed up our kid to bring him home.

I remember that I had envisioned so much pomp and circumstance.  This was it!  This was THE day!  And then, after all, it seemed so ordinary.    We took down posters and folded clothes.  We went through papers and packed a few boxes.  He said goodbyes to the last year and a half of his life.  The counselors cried and struggled to say goodbye to our boy.  Because that is the kind of impact he has on people.

We loaded everything into the back of my car and drove home.

As we rushed inside carrying as much as our arms could handle, we were humbled and awed.  Our family had remembered that this was not just an ordinary day.  We entered to balloons and decorations and signs and love.

We had spaghetti for dinner.

We packed lunches for school the next day.

We did homework.

Oh how easy it is to forget. 
The ordinary is where the extraordinary so often hides. 

And so here we are. 
One year ago we became parents.
One year ago we began a great adventure.
One year ago we wondered,
What in the world will this really look like?

Calvin,

How much you have grown and changed over the past year.  How proud we are of the man you are becoming!  It has been so fun to walk with you as your parents over the past year.  To help you become a student.  To teach you to drive.  To celebrate with you over your first job and the A/B Honor Roll.  To see you grow in faith and desire relationship with the Lord.  To watch you become part of our family and for us to become yours.  How blessed we are by your presence in our lives each and every day.  By your sense of humor, your love of people, your sense of family, your strong values, and your willingness to grow and change and try new things. 

 

We are praying for you. We love you!

Love,

Mom and Dad

2013

Do you make resolutions?  I used to.  And then I used to not.  But you know, there is a rhythm to this life, a time and a season for everything, and somewhere, when the old year rolls to a close and the new year is spread out before us like a blank canvas, there is excitement in the air.  There is hope renewed.

We sat at the Ebenzer Service at church on Sunday evening and listened to our church family raise up praise and thanksgiving for all that took place in 2012.  Even for trials and challenges because the Lord showed Himself in a new way through it all.  He gathers us up in the midst of a hard year and comforts and teaches.  All with love and wisdom that can only come from an eternal perspective.

We listened to Bonnie, who lost her husband this time last year, read a poem about how God holds us close.

We listened to Scott praise that he is off all medication for his diabetes.

To Diane, who was thankful to be a part of each child's life at our church in a big way.  Because the opportunity arose at just the right time, and she was obedient.

To Tom, who has been learning more this year of who he is in Christ.

To several others, and then finally to Krista, who reminded us of the Hope that she found in her dependency about Christ this year in her pregnancy and the birth of sweet baby Finley.

That word Hope just rung in my ears, because that's truly what a new year brings.

So, with the new year spread out before us all nice and neat and unmessed-up yet, I made some resolutions.  I made some goals.  I dared to hope a little that this year will be a little different.  This year I will be better.  I will work harder.  I will enjoy life a little more.  And I will probably fail at some of them.  Some are just for fun, but most them are about having a little more discipline, and I think it's a good thing to learn to live a life of discipline and making better choices.  

At the end of 2013, it really won't matter if I read 20 books (I'm a slow reader) or if I've cooked two or three times per week instead of four.  It's just fun to dream and plan and resolve a little, knowing that God's mercy is new each morning.  Each day is a chance to honor and glorify Him.  Even in the daily routine, God is growing us up in Him and teaching that He holds us up.

Happy 2013!

May it be a year of renewel for you and yours.

Merry and Bright

We had a wonderful Christmas!  A good mix of busy-ness and rest.  We used to run ourselves ragged trying to make every single holiday gathering on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  We did too much.  We finally said starting saying No.  We didn't do Christmas Eve breakfast like I have always done.  We slept in instead.   My parents usually have our good family friends over to their house on Christmas Eve afternoon.  They did again this year, and Calvin and I went.  Patrick went to the mall instead.  He loves going to the mall on Christmas Eve.  It is his thing.  And instead of demanding that he come with us, I was happy to let him do his thing.  He ran into his parents and ended up getting some quality time just them and him.  That doesn't happen very often!

 

While I was taking a shower, Calvin snuck out of the house and went and got Starbucks for everyone!  He is a child after my own heart.

 

We all met up at the Christmas Eve service at church around 5:30. 

It was a beautiful and humbling service.

Perfect to set the tone for the focus of our Christmas.

 

The other Herndons lit the advent candle.

 

Then we gathered over at my parents house for dinner and presents.

This was the first year we did not go to my grandparents on Christmas Eve.

My grandfather passed away in June of this year and my grandmother had a massive stroke around the same time.

It was hard to do something different, but my dad and I really enjoyed cooking the dinner for everyone!  He loves running the kitchen.

 

 Dave and Katie are in for the whole week!  We loved spending Christmas Eve with them.  Calvin and I went over to my parent's house again yesterday to just hang out.  I love having everyone in and just piling up in the living room!

 

 

Calvin made a family calendar in his Desktop Publishing class at school and gave it to my parents for Christmas.  It was beautiful.

Dave and Katie spoil my Calvin.  They got him a Kindle for Christmas!  Now he is excited to read! 

THANK YOU DAVE AND KATIE!

 

Neva got lots of new clothes and shoes.  She really loved stacking up all of her presents over and over.

 

And we all got a pair of Toms! 

We came home that evening and, as tradition follows, watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation for the 4th time this season! It is our FAVORITE Christmas movie.

 

Calvin fell asleep, and Patrick and I stayed up late wrapping the rest of the presents.  Just before we about to go to bed, I lost my glasses and was looking for them everywhere.  And then I realized I had wrapped them up in a present.  Yes, I am losing my mind.  So I had to unwrap and them rewrap the present they were in.

 

On Christmas Day, we opened presents as a family.

Calvin and I found this shirt for Patrick.

It was so appropriate!  He wore it all day.

 

I got a new jacket.

 

Calvin had the most presents!

Lots of clothes, new dress shoes and tennis shoes, and a pair of really nice earbuds for his iPod.

 

The cats loved the wrapping paper mess and proceded to play hide-and-seek.

 

Look, Carolyn and Andrew!  I got a planter box for my garden!

Then we went to my other grandparents' house for the annual Christmas Breakfast.  And took no pictures.  But it was yummy!

 

We came home and napped and then went to my in-laws around 4:00.  We decided to do presents and then dinner so the kids wouldn't be out so late.

 

Sayge was out cold from all the Christmas fun already when they arrived.

I love this picture of my brother-in-law and sister-in-law!  His shirt says, "This guy loves his wife!"

haha

 

My sister-in-law Beth made this for my mother-in-law!  It is made of wood salvaged from Patrick's grandparents' house.  It has a poem about grandparents on it that she wrote and then the bottom has cute little replicas of all her precious grandchildren.  So cool!

Isabelle decided to wear all of her Christmas gifts at once.  She was a sparkle fest!

This warms my heart so much.

As you can tell, Sayge did not stay out-cold for very long. :)

 

It was a fabulous Christmas, full of food and laughter and fun!

And most importantly, Family.

Hope yours was as Merry and Bright as ours!